“Wait, Is This a romantic date?” Podcast Episode 102: The Chart | Autostraddle

Recently on “hold off, Is This a romantic date?” we are joined by Autostraddle Chief Executive Officer and

L Keyword

expert
Riese Bernard
to talk about: The Chart. Yes it’s true! This episode is about lesbian interconnectivity — setting up with buddies’ exes, pals setting up with the exes, while the society created by all of that crisis.

Appear for the gossip, remain for psychological handling. And before that enjoy a game that assessments Christina’s limits: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she normally will never.)

Thank you so much for all the good opinions after our very own premier! For those who haven’t but start thinking about giving us a rating or evaluate!

SHOW NOTES

+ 5 years ago Riese developed an
Old Hollywood information
this is the intersection of most my personal passions.

+ Listed Here Is
the article
We reference in which We mention hooking up using my roommates.

+ My crush regarding the week Mj Rodriguez circulated a songs video clip on her behalf track
“something you should state”
!

+ As someone who has only viewed a few symptoms of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush regarding the week C.C. Babcock had been surprising in my opinion with regards to turned out she and Niles are not both homosexual. (Christina tells me they generally however tend to be.)

---

Drew:

I would be really great along with it present. I would personally never ever include someone else without their particular authorization. Nevertheless the notion of each time some body was actually like, “make sure you may be linked to me,” I would end up like, “Yeah, it’s the existence I’ve stayed. I do not mind.” Is the fact that weird? Is that problems?

Christina:

No, since if I happened to ben’t, I would feel bad not being. I might wind up as, “hold off, I’m not sleeping?”

Theme tune performs

Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I Am Christina.

Drew:

And this is

Wait, Is This A Date?

Christina:


Wait, Is This A Romantic Date?

is an Autostraddle podcast asking the major concerns. First and foremost, will it be a romantic date? Just what are dates? That are dates? Can we like dates? These represent the kind of concerns that individuals answer on this subject here extremely pro and beautiful podcast.

Drew:

My name is Drew Gregory. I am a writer at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, notoriously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

My name is Christina Tucker. I’m also an author at Autostraddle. Im a loud queer on the internet. I will be improving at explaining myself as a writer and, famously, a lesbian. Which is you. Which is which our company is.

Drew:

Yeah. Therefore our very own major subject this week is The Chart.

Christina:

I just believed it needed a sting. I don’t know. That believed truly dramatic, but i believe it needed it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, please, kindly. Thank-you, many thanks. No, no, no. The most effective level of crisis.

Christina:

Many thanks.

Drew:

Yeah. Therefore we’re discussing lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

I like that phrase given that it appears like you need to resume the lesbians. It may sound just like the net connection is not operating.

Drew:

Yes. it is rather advanced, really innovative, and has existed since there is lesbians, i do believe.

Christina:

Yeah. I do believe scholars would state after they discovered the initial lesbian fossils, they discovered a chart alongside of them carved to the mud. And I genuinely believe that’s what that film means, right? It’s about the data? That motion picture with Kate Winslet in addition to mud fossils?

Drew:


Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that is what it’s about.

Drew:

If only

Ammonite

was about cave women. I’d watch that lesbian flick.

Christina:

Well, as I have not viewed it, i’ll bravely claim that it actually was. Cool.

Drew:

Yeah. Because it’s like there is a lot of lesbian period pieces, but we have never gone right back that far. And I also believe it’s the perfect time we would.

Christina:

Why don’t we merely keep taking it more back in time.

Drew:

Before we have to our primary topic, you are still learning united states. And I felt that it might be fun to tackle a game the place you dudes could truly get acquainted with Christina. Therefore all of our icebreaker because of this few days is actually only a little online game that I call “Would U-Haul.”

Christina:

I’m, once more, very pressured relating to this. This may just be ways I come into the video game. This could be my video game mentality, just a little high-key, a tiny bit stressed. That’s ok. We’re all understanding.

Drew:

I do believe which is great. In my opinion that’ll push you to be more susceptible, maybe.

Christina:

Certainly one of my favorite emotions.

Drew:

Simply a horror, merely a serious terror. So the method in which “Would U-Haul” works is actually i will describe a situation. Let’s call it Christina follower fiction. And I also’m planning to pause after every small area getting similar, “Okay, Christina, I know you have never lived with somebody, do not want to live with a partner. But under these scenarios, would U-Haul?”

Christina:

And I will possibly say yes or we’ll say, “I’m all set.”

Drew:

If you do not — well, we’ll see right here. But i am excited. I believe i have possibly cracked the rule.

Christina:

You’ve cracked the code? I’m thrilled.

Drew:

Let’s find out how long this takes. Of course you never perform, i believe you victory? I am not sure exactly how you can find winners right here.

Christina:

I don’t know there are champions from inside the online game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Well, I don’t know any time you’ll accept that next. And so I’m getting going.

Christina:

Fair sufficient.

Drew:

Okay. Thus, Christina.

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You’re at your buddy’s wedding ceremony. Despite the great number of romcoms you have absorbed, you did not visit this wedding ceremony thinking you had meet any individual because, well, this is simply not a romcom. Here is the genuine and regular life of Christina Grace Tucker. You’re taking your assigned chair consequently they are glancing at your phone as soon as you understand a lady at the table is wanting at you. She presents by herself as your friend’s previous babysitter. She’s remained a buddy associated with the family, but she doesn’t really know any person there. She appears to be mid-forties features a striking angular face. You begin chatting. She offers to get you a glass or two. And when she rises, you recognize she is six feet large, 6′ 3″ in pumps. And that means you understand what? I am merely likely to stop there and get love, now, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I’m fascinated. I’m fascinated because i would get set during this wedding. But so far I’m not U-Hauling everywhere.

Drew:

Cool. That is totally reasonable. Totally fair. Okay. Which means you spend whole wedding learning each other. There is only an immediate spark and immediate biochemistry. And yes, you are doing connect together with gender is remarkable.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

And this marriage was a student in Northern California. And so you both increase the remains for a few times to screw and check out and consume at restaurants and shag. And also you provide to divide the cost of the today joint area, but she laughs you down and is also love, “demonstrably perhaps not, honey.” Therefore, the after that three days tend to be miracle. You think your own walls tumbling straight down. You’re dropping quicker than you actually ever have. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

So simply for quality’s benefit, i am having a tough time imagining a global wherein we got three shock days away from work to hang out with you i really do not understand. That looks bonkers. However, if i did so, beneficial to myself. But I’m not U-Hauling at this point. It’s going to be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. Which is okay. You merely found. I get it. I get it. Okay.

Christina:

Thank you so much so much.

Drew:

So she returns to New York and you also go back to Philadelphia.

Christina:

That is where I live.

Drew:

And you’re texting on a regular basis. This is where you live and it is where this girl lives. And you are texting all the time and also you see both multiple times monthly. She actually is very active together with her task, but she is fast purchase you a train ticket in order to come see the girl and stay at the woman gorgeous brownstone in Fort Greene. After which six months pass. Plus one night if you are over to supper, she asks you to definitely move in together. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And move to Nyc? Really don’t love New York. No, I am not transferring at six months tag. I’m not doing that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Totally, totally, entirely. Wow. Okay. So that you hold internet dating long-distance. She realizes that you will need time and she is prepared to watch for you. Even more months pass. Its today already been over a year. Your property manager lets you know that they’re attempting to sell your home to a developer that’s setting up apartments, which means you cannot renew it. You will need to find another spot. Your own today gf informs you that no force, but the woman present still stands. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. Now, i might U-Haul for a few factors.

Drew:

Yay! Ok. Kindly inform us.

Christina:

Primarily, in some sort of whereby my personal property owner sold the house to produce it, my property manager is my personal closest friend, so may seem like something moved wrong within friendship. And I should only leave Philadelphia anyway. And when I get to maneuver in using my girl over here, that looks okay. That is fine. Totally good. But yeah, i believe i would require an external force like a mean property owner.

Drew:

That’s therefore — ok. I did think that you might need certainly to need construction to have here, so I’m pleased I knew that.

Christina:

Yeah. That is exactly what needs to accidentally me personally initially.

Drew:

Well, i am grateful to understand what it’s going to take. Thus theoretically, if perhaps you weren’t knocked away, how much more hours?

Christina:

Honestly, which could have gone on for a long time. Philly and New York commonly even that far from one another. I managed to get area over right here. We are bouncing backwards and forwards. We are having happy times. I could have try to let that roll for a long time until i suppose Shoshana turns into the worst person i understand.

Drew:

I did not know that Shoshana owned home. Really, there you are going.

Christina:

There we get. Wow, that has been thrilling.

Drew:

Well, thanks for playing.

Christina:

I am pressured, to get obvious.

Drew:

And I also’m pleased that i am aware… Maybe if you’re actually ever, therefore if anyone’s ever online dating you and wants that relocate, perhaps your sweetheart told Shoshana to offer your house with regard to your own relationship.

Christina:

Genuinely the fastest means — someone would simply have to speak with Shoshana and get want, “only kick the girl out.” Right after which she’d wind up as, “Yeah, sure. Without a doubt.” That will be how it occurred, even if she don’t sell our home. Some one would you should be like, “are you able to merely stop the girl away very she’s going to only get over it and relocate beside me?” And she would state yes. A hundred percent she would accomplish that. That is what friendship is.

Drew:

Everyone loves that.

Christina:

Yeah, which is really breathtaking.

Drew:

Really, personally i think like we discovered a lot about yourself.

Christina:

Thank You. Personally I think like We learned plenty about my self, also. Threat of homelessness is really the thing that keeps myself moving in any scenario, i assume. Wow.

Drew:

Well, that’s great.

Christina:

That has been really thrilling. I’m similarly delighted to go into the main part because i believe making reference to lesbian connection using this guest, using this unique visitor, In my opinion it will likely be amazing, Drew. Exactly how are you experiencing?

Drew:

I’m thus excited. This is certainly specialized. By that, after all an

L Word

specialist, but additionally some a professional within the subject available.

Christina:

I think a few things is generally real, my pal. In my opinion a few things is generally correct without a doubt. Will we would you like to present our very own visitor or do we want our guest introducing on their own?

Drew:

I would personally love the visitor to introduce by herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I shall claim that all of our guest may be the only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, speak.

Riese:

Hi, I Am Riese. Plus its unusual getting the visitor!

Christina:

Yeah, its.

Riese:

I’d never to state such a thing. I did not also get it done. Used to do say situations. I’d to sit here calmly.

Christina:

And also you had been really courageous. Along with your confronts had been valued.

Over here /gay-fuck.html

Riese:

Many thanks plenty.

Christina:

Though that is demonstrably a sound medium, I want our listeners to know that Riese was actually producing some very nice impulse faces during “Would U-Haul.”

Riese:

There is various ways to be heard. Guess what happens after all? That is what i usually say. I’m the President of Autostraddle.com. And I’m additionally on an undefeated kickball team. That is certainly me personally. We have your pet dog called Carol. And that I have outdated men and women.

Christina:

Congrats from the kickball!

Riese:

Thank you. I am involved with folks.

Christina:

Great. Enjoying that. That is fantastic to take to the, this here online dating podcast. That’s really good.

Riese:

Yeah. I think that… Could There Be anything?

Drew:

No, I think that is great, Riese.

Christina:

Whatever you decide and wish discuss.

Riese:

I really like raspberries, the fresh fruit raspberries, and private pools.

Christina:

Compared to…

Riese:

You know when someone goes like…

Drew:

Its like as soon as you blow. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those are disgusting, and so I merely evacuated all of them from my personal brain.

Riese:

Yeah. That is certainly all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Well, I straight away considered you for this subject.

Christina:

That is correct.

Drew:

Because first, clearly, queer women and non-binary folks in lesbian society have been like, I don’t know, sex with folks who their friends have obtained gender with since well before

The L Keyword

was actually actually ever a sequence. But i actually do feel

The L Term

solidified a particular social notion of the information with Alice Pieszecki. And so I decided you would have countless insight into this topic.

Riese:

Its real. A couple of article authors, I would like to say, of

The L Term

had this actual data of these as well as their pals these were attracting on the wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i do believe, ended up being one among these. She chatted to united states about this, that they had developed this. Because demonstrably, everybody because journalist’s place had fucked people within the author — you realize, therefore the extended internet of these generation of lesbians in l . a .. And so they noticed can these were like, “Why don’t we put it into the tv series.” Plus some of them take the chart. Like, some people who … like, genuine everyone is regarding the data as bull crap.

Christina:

That is incredible. Which is how you know you’ve made it.

Riese:

Isn’t that sweet?

Christina:

That would be fascinating personally.

Riese:

Therefore for those who haven’t viewed

The L Term,

firstly, congrats. Second, it will become the centerpiece of a single of your direct personality, Alice’s, apartment. This lady has it-all over her wall. And in addition it may be the name of a site they started called ourchart.com that flopped. And also the concept … And it’s in pilot, I think. Inside 1st episode, Alice begins dealing with just how every person’s linked, because everybody’s hooked up with this particular individual. And that I can hook up you, like you’re probably a maximum of two degrees from myself. And that was actually true. Like, despite Dana, that has not a lot of knowledge because she ended up being a closeted playing tennis player, they nonetheless could actually connect the lady. That is certainly real life because it’s genuine.

Christina:

Which is tradition. Yeah. That’s what tradition looks like.

Riese:

Which is culture. Which is queer tradition there. And now everyone tends to make their particular charts.

Christina:

Yeah. To ensure that was going to be my personal then concern, had been have either of you made a chart? Because I don’t believe You will find, I am also style of now thinking like, that which was this just last year resting within my home for easily don’t make a chart? Like, that which was the purpose of that, truly?

Riese:

I believe I completed it inside my diary, just as like … Because I like, I don’t know, arranging information, i suppose, as an idea physical exercise.

Christina:

Yeah, In my opinion that’s also precisely why i will be surprised that You will findn’t done it. I prefer the idea of categorizing situations.

Riese:

Appropriate. Yeah. Since it is interesting. I’m not sure exactly why it really is very fascinating, but it’s. It is fascinating getting love, wow, many of these individuals, they’re linked. Its untamed.

Drew:

About tv series, once ourchart.com is actually devised, they usually have a real data that folks could add things. And I also feel something that you joked when it comes to on

To L and Right Back,

and now men and women state constantly is a lot like, when this existed in an actual method, no one would put their unique names about it, no body would feel safe putting their own brands onto it.

Riese:

You’d.

Drew:

I would. I might be extremely okay along with it existing. I’d never add someone else without their own authorization. Nevertheless the idea of similar, anytime somebody ended up being like, “concur that you are linked to me personally,” I would end up like, “Yeah, it’s the life I resided. I do not worry about.” Is odd? Is that problematic?

Christina:

No, because if I wasn’t, I would feel bad not-being … i might be like, “Wait, I’m not upon it? Like, i am sorry, exactly what?” No, that could in fact deliver me personally into a light moral panic about exactly who i’m as you, everything I’m carrying out. Am I interesting? Would people {like